Indignity around the pool deck

For some unknown reason, The Lady has fastened a long heavy string to my head. It makes a most disturbing clanking noise right by my head, and tends to pinch and pull my fuzzy puppy hairs. I don’t like it. First they made me wear the scratchy uncomfortable necklace, and now this. Why? I was having a perfectly nice time running around in the back yard, and now this indignity. And, she expects me to walk around the pool deck a zillion times while she holds the other end of the string, saying “Good Boy” and “Heel.” What is heel? It was much nicer when I was free. I’ll be sure to make putting on the necklace and the accompanying string as difficult as possible to express my distaste for this game. My People should work on inventing better games to keep me amused.