Saturday, December 26, 2009

Jacuzzi and Imitation Crocs

It’s only my third night sleeping in my new home and I fell into the Jacuzzi. I know I know I know. I’m supposed to be more careful, but it was dark and I was having such fun chasing The Lady around the pool in her nightgown and parka and imitation Crocs and woolly hat with a chinstrap. She had the five o’clock a.m. watch to take me to the potty and I didn’t really have to go. But when she opened the crate and carried me outside, I was so happy to see her I just wanted to play for a while. She doesn’t like morning much, but always perks up if I lick her face and pee on the grass, even if it is just a little bit. My People discovered that when playtime coincided with the middle of the night, if we made a couple of brisk rounds circling the pool usually that activity was enough to wear me out enough to go back to sleep. Tonight was no exception, or at least it shouldn’t have been. However, on the last lap around the pool deck, I cut the corner short and stumbled, falling into the Jacuzzi. I don’t think I was actually in the water for an entire whole second but it sure was cold. The Lady was only about 15 inches away from me, and reached down and scooped me up before I even knew what happened. She tucked me sopping wet into her nightgown and wrapped her big puffy coat around me, and flew into the house leaving the sliding glass door wide open and a sloppy trail of pool water on their new bedroom carpet. As she ran by, The Man was asking from the bed in a groggy voice, “Is everything all right? Are you OK? Is the dog OK?” She didn’t even answer and flew up the stairs four at a time into the kitchen. She plopped me into the kitchen sink and immediately ran warm water all over me for a few minutes before she started rubbing me with towels, one after the other, throwing the wet ones on the floor in a pile. The whole time she kept telling me, “You are going to be fine. You are going to be fine. You will not die of pneumonia. After all this, I did not kill you. Oh my god please get warm. I will make you warm. You are fine.”
I really was very very cold and started shivering pretty bad, which made The Lady’s voice get wavery while she was talking to me, but the whole thing was pretty exciting. My time spent in the Jacuzzi wasn’t even enough to scare me, but the vigorous rubbing was a little much. By the time she was done with my violent massage, my skin was quite pink and I was stylin’ an impressive afro. Finally she put me down, but only long enough to rip her own clothes off and toss them on the kitchen floor in a puddle. She ran naked into the laundry room and assembled a strange costume of a winter scarf, red socks, work-out pants and her husband’s dress sweater, and brought me into the family den wrapped up in my pink blanket. We sat together on the white shag rug very close to a space heater until The Man woke up.
Everything worked out just fine, but I’ll have to let you know how I really feel about the pool and the Jacuzzi later. I think The Lady was more traumatized by this incident than me but we’ll see if I have suffered any lasting effects.

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