Thursday, January 28, 2010

Cheap High Heels

Even though it has been a month since I have been in their presence, I still have dreams of Evil Steve and his twin sister Wanda. In these dreams, the two Siblings of Satan are chasing me with giant forks and knives. They carry their cutlery like jousting knights, with Wanda’s long curly fingernails twisted around the handles while her cheap high heels click as she runs. I am trying my best to run away, but I’m still too little and keep getting cornered by them, their German Shepherd named Assassin (who once bit one of my sisters) and their popeyed chihuahua named Accomplice. I yip and bark and growl as loud as I can in my sleep, but it just does no good and I know I'm a goner. Eventually they morph into shiny pink and green street racing cars and attempt to mow me down in cold blood, chasing me through the dog park. Wicked Wanda's eyes glow red as she files her teeth in the rear view mirror, opening and closing her mouth like a python. Just as I am about to get run over by Evil Steve I wake up. Sometimes The Lady is petting me gently and whispering my name, but sometimes I just wake up by myself. I wish I could forget them, but I can’t seem to put them out of my mind entirely. I think the silverware part of the dream comes from overhearing My People talk about how some Asian country is importing Saint Bernards, my cousins on my father’s side, for FOOD. Look it up, I’m not lying.

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